Blog & News

How Contempt and Resentment Show Up in Relationships

Resentment often grows quietly. Contempt makes it visible. Learn how these emotions develop, how they damage connection, and what couples…

How Attachment Styles Influence Conflict, Communication, and Intimacy

Have you ever noticed that you respond to conflict in ways that surprise even yourself? That you either pursue connection…

The Difference Between Emotional Support and Emotional Dependence in Relationships

Every meaningful relationship involves a degree of emotional reliance. We turn to the people we love when life gets hard,…

How Anxiety Shows Up in Relationships

Is anxiety affecting your relationship? Learn how overthinking, reassurance-seeking, fear of rejection, and emotional flooding can create distance between partners—and…

How to Recognize a Codependent Relationship

There is a particular kind of relationship dynamic that looks from the outside like devotion, and feels from the inside…

Can Online Counseling Work for Us?

Skepticism about online counseling is understandable. Therapy has long been associated with a particular setting: a quiet office, a comfortable…

How to Use the Burned Haystack Dating Method on Dating Apps

Dating apps can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. You swipe, match, message, get disappointed, start over—and…

The Little Things That Keep Love Strong

When we think about what makes relationships last, we often focus on big moments—weddings, anniversaries, major conflicts, or life transitions.…

What Does “Estranged” Actually Mean?

Estrangement in Families and Marriages Estrangement in Families and Marriages The word “estranged” is often associated with dramatic family fallouts—years…

What Gaslighting Looks Like in Everyday Relationships

The term “gaslighting” has entered mainstream conversation in recent years, but it is still widely misunderstood. Many people associate it…

Why Premarital Counseling is About More Than Avoiding Divorce

When most people hear the words “premarital counseling,” they picture a cautionary exercise: a way to stress-test a relationship before…

Emotional Manipulation: Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

Emotional manipulation can be difficult to recognize when you’re in a relationship. While it can become toxic and emotionally abusive,…

How Virtual Couples Counseling Helps Couples Reconnect

Relationships are complex, and even the strongest partnerships go through seasons of disconnect, misunderstanding, and pain. Seeking help is one…

Why Healthy Relationships Require Emotional Safety, Not Perfection

There is a quiet but damaging myth at the heart of how many people think about relationships: that a truly…

Covert Narcissist Traits: 9 Quiet Signs Most People Miss

The loud, grandiose narcissist is easy to picture. The covert kind is not. Covert narcissist traits tend to hide behind…

Managing Contempt in Couples Therapy

One of the most difficult emotions to deal with in couples therapy is contempt. Feelings of superiority, self-righteousness, and a…

When You Feel Like Roommates But Want to Be Lovers Again

There comes a time in many long-term relationships when couples pause and realize something has quietly shifted. They’re still sharing…

When It’s Recommended to Seek a Divorce Counselor

The end of a marriage is rarely a single moment. It’s a long unraveling: of shared identity, daily routine, financial…

What is the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy?

Not all couples therapy is created equal. Some approaches are largely intuitive, shaped by a therapist’s personal style and experience.…

‘It’s Not My Fault!’: Why Defensiveness is Damaging

“Giulio, did you take your sister’s cookie?” I watch as the look on the two pint-sized faces cycles from affront…

The Myth of Being “Too Needy” in Relationships

Where the “Too Needy” Label Comes From “Too needy” is one of the most common—and damaging—labels in relationships. It’s often…

A Guide to EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy)

When conflict in a relationship starts to feel like a loop you can’t escape — the same arguments, the same…

AI as Your Co-Therapist: The Benefits and the Dangers

Therapy has never been more accessible, but that accessibility comes with major caveats. With AI-powered mental health tools multiplying rapidly,…

How to Deal With Anxiety in Relationships

Anxiety among people in the United States is at an all time high. According to the National Institute of Mental…

Fondness, Admiration, and Intimacy

If you feel like the honeymoon phase is over, you can bring back the magic. “We used to be intimate…

How to Express Fondness for Your Partner to Build Intimacy

In the rush of daily life, it’s easy to assume that your partner knows how you feel. You’re together, after…

Dating and Intimacy in the Digital Age

Swipe right. Match. Message. Unmatch. Repeat. For millions of singles today, this is the rhythm of modern romance. Dating apps…

Facing the Challenges of Platonic Love

What Therapists Should Stop Ignoring About Friendship Friendship is often the most influential — and most overlooked — attachment bond…

How Physical Intimacy and Emotional Intimacy Are Connected

In many relationships, physical intimacy and emotional intimacy are deeply intertwined. While they are distinct experiences, each one influences and…

How to Foster a Secure Attachment Style

Attachment styles shape how we connect, communicate, and experience intimacy in our relationships. If you grew up with inconsistent caregiving,…

How Anxiety, Trauma, and ADHD Show Up in Relationships

Anxiety in Relationships Anxiety often shows up as hyper-vigilance and fear of disconnection. Common patterns Impact on the relationship Core…

How Emotion Regulation Can Transform Your Conflict Cycle

Most couples don’t fight because they’re incompatible—they fight because emotions escalate faster than either partner can manage them. When strong…

CareCredit is Accepted at Nancy’s Counseling Corner

Mental health care should feel supportive, not stressful. For many individuals and families, financial concerns can become a barrier to…

8 Ways to Have Lower Conflict Conversations about Money

Conflict about finances is a major relationship stressor for many couples. In fact, money is one of the most common…

How Women Are Silently Quitting Their Marriages

In many relationships, disconnection doesn’t begin with a dramatic argument or a sudden breakup. Instead, it often starts quietly. More…

Resolve to Forgive Yourself in 2026

We all know that forgiveness is good for the soul. It frees us from the bitterness and anger that accompany…

New Year Resolutions and Your Relationships

As a new year begins, many people set resolutions focused on self-improvement—better habits, clearer goals, or renewed motivation. When viewed…

Daily Habits That Help Fight Depression

Depression can make even the smallest tasks feel overwhelming. While therapy plays an essential role in treating depression, daily habits…

How Meditation Improves Your Focus

In a world filled with constant notifications, competing demands, and mental overload, maintaining focus can feel nearly impossible. Many people…

Tips for Soothing Anxiety

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, whether it manifests during busy workdays, social commitments, or even quiet moments at home. It can…

How Premarital Counseling Can Benefit Your Relationship

Preparing for marriage is an exciting time filled with dreams, plans, and possibilities, but it can also provoke important questions…

Love and Sex in Your Golden Years

You change. Your body changes. So does your partner’s. And a good thing, too. That initial I-can’t-get-enough-of-you and let’s-have-sex-immediately is…

What’s Your Attachment Style?

When you were a helpless infant, you bonded with your mother or caregiver to ensure that you could survive. You…

Unseen Trauma Shame and Codependcy

The trauma of being unseen often lies at the root of both shame and codependency, quietly shaping how we relate…

Reconnecting When You’re at Loggerheads

When you’re locked in conflict, it’s tempting to throw away the key. After all, your partner refuses to compromise, and…

Managing vs. Resolving Conflict in Relationships

In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman’s research found that 69% of problems in a relationship are…

Why Turning Against Your Partner’s Bids Is So Harmful

When two people have been in a committed relationship for a long time, a certain sense of familiarity develops.  If…

Am I Too Traumatized to be in a Relationship?

Your dating difficulties are not caused by something about you that’s permanently flawed. If you’ve experienced trauma, being vulnerable in…

What Does It Mean to Commit?

If you are in a long and lasting relationship, chances are, the cornerstone of it is commitment. Maybe when you…

Red Flags vs. Growth Areas: How to Distinguish and Navigate Them

Relationships bring out the best and the worst in us. Some challenges are opportunities to grow together, while others signal…

Control Your Over-controlling Behavior

There’s a lot to be said for being in control. You feel confident and secure when you’re in charge. You…

Solid Advice for Solid Relationships

Every couple has a different path and a unique relationship. But most couples have a similar goal, and that is…

How Do Arguments Affect Relationships Over Time?

While conflict is inevitable, frequent arguments will affect a relationship over time. Couples that do not effectively manage conflict will…

Old Habits Die Hard

It’s so easy to acquire bad habits, but not so easy to break them. After all, they’re habits, something you…

How Emotion Regulation Can Transform Your Conflict Cycle

When I meet with a new couple, I always ask: How do you self-soothe during and outside ofconflict? While some report having…

Your Relationship When Your Body and Brain Are Flooded

You may not know its name, but you’ve probably experienced diffuse physiological arousal (DPA). It’s that feeling you get when…

How Overcontrolling Behaviors Impact Relationships

Overcontrol, defined as excessive or maladaptive self control, can lead to significant problems in our relationships. People with overcontrolled traits…

Are You in Love with a Narcissist?

The trouble with the term “narcissist” is that it is used liberally, when a very small percentage of the population…

Therapy Isn’t Something to Be Ashamed Of

As a therapist, as well as someone who goes to therapy, I can speak firsthand about the importance of attending…

The Key to Love

Multiple studies have been conducted exploring the idea that two people can develop a close relationship by sharing their most…

Unseen Trauma, Shame, Codependency

The trauma of being unseen often lies at the root of both shame and codependency, quietly shaping how we relate…

Sex, Sex, and More Sex

Sex is often the cornerstone of a good relationship. Sure, it’s possible to have a wonderful relationship without it, but…

Why Turning Against Your Partner’s Bids Is So Harmful

Understanding “Bids” in Relationships Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, introduced the concept of bids — small, everyday attempts…

The Trifecta of Tortured Relationships: Why You Feel So Alone Together

The Trifecta of Tortured Relationships: Why You Feel So Alone Together When couples first come together, it feels like magic.…

Choose Your Partner

A friend told me that every time her husband touches her arm with affection, which is every morning as they…

What and How ADHD Affects Relationships

What ADHD Is in a Relationship Context ADHD isn’t just about distractibility or hyperactivity. It’s a neurological difference that affects:…

Rumination vs Reflection In Relationships

Ah, going even deeper — I love it.When it comes to relationships, the difference between rumination and reflection becomes even…

Is She/He Right for You?

In the rush of a new relationship, you stay up all night talking. You can’t stop thinking about him. And…

Gaslighting vs Respect

That’s a really important contrast to look at — gaslighting vs. respect in relationships — because they sit on totally…

Where Is Your Soulmate?

Remember that great line from the movie, Jerry McGuire? The title character tells his girl, “You complete me”. Such a…

Why Do We Get Jealous in Relationships?

Jealousy in relationships is a natural emotional response, often rooted in fear, insecurity, or attachment dynamics. Understanding why we feel…

When Your Phone Is More Important Than Your Partner

When you first met your partner, you couldn’t get enough of him. Your thoughts were often invaded by visions of…

What Do Trust and Commitment Look Like in a Relationship?

Trust in a Relationship Looks Like: Honesty – Being open, truthful, and transparent with each other. Reliability – Following through…

What’s Your Attachment Style? And How Does It Affect Your Relationships?

If you have trouble showing compassion, maybe you feel you have enough problems of your own and simply don’t have…

Silent Treatment vs Stonewalling

Both silent treatment and stonewalling involve refusing to communicate, but they have different intentions and effects. Silent Treatment A passive-aggressive…

Intimacy: The Holy Grail of Your Relationship

Enjoying the closeness of someone who understands you completely—who knows how you feel and is always on your side—is the…

Can Your Marriage Survive a Betrayal of the Heart?

Jenny wasn’t going to go to her high school reunion. She wasn’t one to relive past glories, even if she…

8 Ways to Have Lower Conflict Conversations about Money

Conflict about finances is a major relationship stressor for many couples. In fact, money is one of the most common…

An Affair to Remember

When you get married and make a life-long commitment to your partner, you dream of a future together. Seldom do…

Managing vs. Resolving Conflict in Relationships

In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman’s research found that 69% of problems in a relationship are…

When Familiarity Breeds Contempt in a Relationship

Familiarity in a long-term relationship can go one of two ways–you can feel worn down, lose the romance, and end…

4 Conflict Styles that Hurt Your Relationship Learn how to navigate conflict in a healthy way.

All couples fight, but not every couple knows how to do it in a healthy way. Further, in the heat…

D is for Defensiveness Defensiveness is a wicked game. But it’s winnable.

The bride of my youth is delighted that I’m writing about defensiveness. She’s been chuckling under her breath at me…

Resolve to Forgive Yourself in 2025

We all know that forgiveness is good for the soul. It frees us from the bitterness and anger that accompany…

Don’t Hit the Wall This Holiday Season

It’s the holiday season and while that’s often a happy thing, it’s also a stressful time. There’s so much to…

Types of Criticism: Expressing Concern or Complaint without Harm Learn how to identify the first of the four horsemen

The “Four Horsemen” of relationship communication, identified by psychologist John Gottman, are patterns that can lead to conflict and disconnection.…

Don’t Be Rude, Dude

So, you’re at the ballgame. You’re jostling popcorn and a couple of fully-loaded hot dogs that you’re passing to your…

How To Handle Holidays, Family and Communications

Holidays often bring joy and celebration, but they can also come with challenges, particularly around family dynamics and communication. Here…

Develop Your Emotional Intelligence Skills

I have a friend whose father, in a fit of disdain, said to her, “You’re so emotional.” It was not…

Be Your Own Advocate

Stand up for yourself. We all know people who do not need this advice. They are more than capable of…

The Criticism Defensiveness Cycle

One of the most common of the Four Horsemen is criticism. The Four Horsemen are what Dr. John Gottman calls the dynamics…

Why Turning Against Your Partner’s Bids Is So Harmful

When two people have been in a committed relationship for a long time, a certain sense of familiarity develops.  If…

When It Comes to Your Emotions, Be Specific

Have you ever noticed that people who are really good at their endeavors have a full vocabulary to describe it?…

Are You Enmeshed in a Relationship?

If you are overly, inappropriately, involved in someone else’s personal life, you are enmeshed. Often, this happens between parents and…

Let’s Talk About The Sex You’re Not Having, Sexless Marriage? You’re Not Alone. Take These Steps To Find Intimacy Again.

A sexless marriage can be a challenging and isolating experience, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone—many couples…

When Strong, Self-Aware Men Seek Mental Health Help

In the classic musical, My Fair Lady, a confirmed bachelor laments, why can’t a woman be more like a man?…

Is It Love Or Love Bombing

The difference between love and love bombing can be subtle at first but becomes more apparent with time and self-awareness.…

Setting Boundaries for People Pleasers

If you’re a people pleaser, you know who you are. Always trying to make other people happy. Never ruffling anyone’s…

What is the Difference Between Stonewalling vs Gaslighting?

Stonewalling and gaslighting are both harmful behaviors often seen in interpersonal conflicts, but they are different in their methods and…

Hooray for Sex

Making love is an integral part of a great relationship. Sure, there are exceptions, but sex is often underrated as…