Why Are Older Married People Now Divorcing Like the Gores?

Yeah, yeah, so another celebrity marriage has hit the dust – what’s so surprising about that?  Celebrity marriages seem to come with a revolving door already installed, ready to twirl the lovers back out of the relationship when they are done six months later.  But the latest break-up listed in the gossip column doesn’t involve two movie stars who nobody thought would last anyway.  It involves the Gores, that loving, supportive couple who have just celebrated their fortieth wedding anniversary.  And who can forget that passionate kiss on stage at the 2000 Democratic National Convention in Los Angeles?  Their recent dignified announcement that “This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together, following a process of long and careful consideration” stunned many, but for others it has just reinforced an apparent trend that is becoming more and more prevalent in modern society: The trend among the “gray-hairs” to file for divorce after spending three decades together.Â

The Wall Street Journal recently announced a “divorce boom among seniors” and the Associated Press reports that a “growing legion” of older Americans are suddenly separating and divorcing in larger numbers than before.  Even CBS News has jumped on the bandwagon, describing the “growing trend of 50, 60, and 70-something year olds who are divorcing after decades of marriage.”  Those boomers who wanted it all and were the first generation to be nicknamed the “me generation” are now seniors … and they still want it all.  And that doesn’t necessarily mean sticking with the person they said “I do” to all that time ago.

So what could be causing Grandma and Grandpa to suddenly rush to their divorce lawyers?  Well, apparently Viagra has a lot to answer for because it has helped create vastly new sexual experiences for older adults. Sixty may be the new 40!  Others point to women’s economic freedom, unheard-of back when our grandparents were young.  The longer average lifespan has also been brought up as a reason since many argue that marriage wasn’t designed as an institution to last so long.Â

A May 2004 survey conducted by AARP found that women initiated 66 percent of these gray divorces, often blindsiding their husbands. Saying “I do” meant maybe thirty years together, but for those approaching retirement now, their “I do” could mean fifty years and that is too long for some.

Robert Butler’s recently published book, The Longevity Prescription, looks at this phenomenon stating “If [they] don’t feel totally happy and have possibilities for new relationships, late-life divorce is not totally uncommon.”  Butler, 83, is founder of the non-profit International Longevity Center in New York City and is founding director of the National Institute on Aging. He says he’s become more aware of those in long marriages contemplating divorce. He says it’s usually the women who bring it up.Â

But is it really a trend? There is no credible evidence that there is a divorce boom among older Americans.  In fact, available statistics suggest that divorce rates among senior citizens have remained rather stable at low levels.   Rather, it has become a “hot topic” in the media and as a result, it gets talked up.  So don’t worry, maybe Grandma and Grandpa will get to celebrate their golden anniversary in their golden years after all!

 

If you found this post helpful, you might also enjoy exploring some of our other articles that dive deeper into the topics of relationships, communication, and emotional wellness. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your current connection, better understand co-dependency, or prepare for a healthy marriage, these related posts offer valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Take a look—you may find just what you need.

Related Posts

Why Turning Against Your Partner’s Bids Is So Harmful

Understanding “Bids” in Relationships Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, introduced the concept of bids — small, everyday attempts to connect emotionally with your partner. These could be as simple as a smile, a question, or a sigh — essentially asking: How you respond — by turning toward, away, or against — can either strengthen or weaken the foundation of your relationship. If you find yourself struggling with emotional

Read More »
Uncategorized
Nancy Travers

The Trifecta of Tortured Relationships: Why You Feel So Alone Together

The Trifecta of Tortured Relationships: Why You Feel So Alone Together When couples first come together, it feels like magic. You feel emotionally safe. Supported. Loved. Your partner is the one person you can count on in times of trouble and triumph—a true safe harbor. But over time, that connection can erode. You may feel alone even when you’re together. You might start to wonder: When trust breaks down, emotional

Read More »

Choose Your Partner

A friend told me that every time her husband touches her arm with affection, which is every morning as they wake up, she is stunned that he loves her. No matter what stupid stuff she did the day before, no matter how permanently flawed her personality, he demonstrates that he loves her. Unconditionally. He cherishes her and he lets her know it, even though he merely touches her arm. It’s

Read More »
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SERVICES

Find The Counseling Service That Is Right For You

At Nancy’s Counseling Corner, we’re here to support every stage of your relationship journey. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment through premarital counseling, or working through the emotions of separation and divorce, our services are designed with care, compassion, and expertise. We specialize in Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Divorce Counseling, Co-dependency Counseling—and so much more. No matter where you are, healing and growth are possible. Let’s take that next step—together.

Marriage & Couples Counseling

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires hard work, love, care, and understanding the needs of other people.

Relationship Counseling

Can help you find–and keep–the love of your life. Relationships are challenging and require an extensive amount of patience.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is an emotional and strenuous thought for those seeking to solve marital problems.

Depression Counseling

Depression is a mental disorder characterized by at least 10-14 days of noticeable or recognizable low mood.

Co-dependency

“Codependency” is a term we hear thrown around a lot these days, though many of us aren’t sure exactly what it means.

Premarital Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Anxiety Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Meditation

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Hypnosis

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.