When Your Relationship Won’t Survive Covid

If there’s one thing we learned from the pandemic, it’s that extra stress can strain a relationship to the breaking point, even when it seemed okay before. Erin knew her relationship with Dave wasn’t perfect, but she didn’t realize how fragile it really was until they lived through a pandemic together. That’s when they were stuck home for much of the time with their two young school-age children.

 

Dave, who brought in more income than Erin, thought his work took priority and sequestered himself with his computer, leaving Erin to try and work remotely while supervising the kids. As the months passed, this situation became increasingly tense. Erin kept asking for more help from Dave, who would pitch in from time to time, but he felt besieged and nagged. She felt overworked and underappreciated.

 

Neither was any good at dealing with conflict, so they drifted more and more apart emotionally, although not physically. They became emotionally unavailable to each other just to avoid any unpleasant exchanges. Neither wanted to rock the boat, so they became emotionally distant just to keep from fighting.

 

Their forced togetherness also seemed to expose fault lines that had always been in their relationship. She continued to leave dirty dishes in the sink. He continued to leave the toilet seat up. Both these annoying habits were easier to overlook before the pandemic. Now, though, with both of them and the kids in the house much more, their bad habits became more intolerable.

Marriage Counseling, Realtionship Therapy, Couples

In the Time B.C. (Before Covid)

 

Time was that when Dave was stressed at work, Erin could support him better, and vice versa, because usually they weren’t both under extreme stress at the same time. Even when they were both stressed, they knew it was for a finite period, which allowed them to hope for better times ahead. They could show some generosity to each other and cut their partner some slack. Maybe even inject some humor to diffuse the situation.

 

But the pandemic was seemingly endless. Even after it was virtually over, it left Erin, Dave, and their kids emotionally exhausted and struggling to reach an equilibrium they enjoyed before the pandemic. On top of this, Dave had to cope with the loss of taste for a while, an aftereffect of Covid. It seemed impossible to gain enough traction to get their relationship back on an even keel. They made a half-hearted attempt to communicate better, but they just couldn’t seem to connect. They continued to drift apart.

 

Grieving Their Old Life

 

The fact is, in the aftermath of the pandemic, Erin and Dave suffered another loss—their relationship. Even though they hadn’t been close in years, the idea that the life they had imagined was coming to a close was devastating to both of them. On top of the difficult years they spent being ill and trying to avoid being ill, and the stress they endured constantly parenting and helping their kids cope with remote schooling, now they were faced with another grief: The loss of their marriage.

 

The thought of separation and divorce—huge stressors once again—was coupled with the prospect of starting over and reentry into a new, post-covid world. Both Erin and Dave needed to grieve the loss of their old life and let go of any anger or resentment. It’s important to do this in a healthy way so they can support their kids, also grieving, and eventually move on to a new life.

 

 

Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: https://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com/comtact

 

If you found this post helpful, you might also enjoy exploring some of our other articles that dive deeper into the topics of relationships, communication, and emotional wellness. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your current connection, better understand co-dependency, or prepare for a healthy marriage, these related posts offer valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Take a look—you may find just what you need.

Related Posts

Is She/He Right for You?

In the rush of a new relationship, you stay up all night talking. You can’t stop thinking about him. And every minute you’re away from him seems to drag in slow motion. You’re in the first stage of love, and your hormones are racing. You can’t think straight. Because you are human, there’s no getting around your physical reaction. You are designed to bond, and in so doing, your body

Read More »

Gaslighting vs Respect

That’s a really important contrast to look at — gaslighting vs. respect in relationships — because they sit on totally opposite ends of the emotional health spectrum. 🔥 Gaslighting (Disrespect in Disguise) Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where one person makes the other doubt their reality, memory, or feelings. It often looks like: “That never happened; you’re just being dramatic.” “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re overreacting.” Twisting facts to

Read More »

Where Is Your Soulmate?

Remember that great line from the movie, Jerry McGuire? The title character tells his girl, “You complete me”. Such a wonderful, romantic scene. And a wonderful, romantic notion: That your soul is only half there, and you travel the world until you meet the one person who completes the other half of you. Your soulmate. But that notion overlooks the truth. It takes time and energy to forge a healthy,

Read More »
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SERVICES

Find The Counseling Service That Is Right For You

At Nancy’s Counseling Corner, we’re here to support every stage of your relationship journey. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment through premarital counseling, or working through the emotions of separation and divorce, our services are designed with care, compassion, and expertise. We specialize in Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Divorce Counseling, Co-dependency Counseling—and so much more. No matter where you are, healing and growth are possible. Let’s take that next step—together.

Marriage & Couples Counseling

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires hard work, love, care, and understanding the needs of other people.

Relationship Counseling

Can help you find–and keep–the love of your life. Relationships are challenging and require an extensive amount of patience.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is an emotional and strenuous thought for those seeking to solve marital problems.

Depression Counseling

Depression is a mental disorder characterized by at least 10-14 days of noticeable or recognizable low mood.

Co-dependency

“Codependency” is a term we hear thrown around a lot these days, though many of us aren’t sure exactly what it means.

Premarital Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Anxiety Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Meditation

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Hypnosis

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.