Have you ever noticed that people who are really good at their endeavors have a full vocabulary to describe it? A dancer doesn’t just bend her knees. She does a plié in second position. A cook doesn’t just cut a potato. He slices it thinly with a mandoline.
Likewise, if you are really tuned into your emotions, you use a nuanced vocabulary to describe them. You don’t just feel bad. You feel betrayed, or disappointed, or angry. When you’re specific, you can describe how you’re feeling more accurately. And when you describe accurately, you have better information with which to process your emotions. You have more intelligence upon which to base your decision about what to do that will help. And being able to label your emotions correctly even helps to reduce the activity in your brain associated with negativity.
Precise Language Helps You Navigate
Your emotions tell you what is going on within your body and in your environment. If your heart is pounding and your face is flushed, you could be in a dangerous situation. Your emotion could be fear. But if your heart is pounding and your face is flush, you could be at a candlelight dinner, about to propose. Then your emotion could be love. So, context is important when trying to understand your emotions.
In addition to context, it’s useful to notice details of your feelings. If you are mildly irritated, you might just let it go. If you are deeply enraged, you will have a different response. So, paying attention and labeling your feelings accurately will help you navigate your emotions and improve the way you experience life.
Another way of learning to understand your emotions is to try new things, expand your horizons, and experience things outside your usual zone. Read books. See movies. Empathize with the characters and examine how they are feeling. You may feel the same someday. It’s useful to be able to put a label on those feelings.
When you’re happy, you might be more than just happy. You might feel unbridled joy, or sweet contentment, or exuberant exhilaration. Try to make a practice of being specific about how you feel. Find the words that truly resonate. The you have a handle on how to manage your emotions. Once you do, you can:
Press the Pause Button. Take a little time to gatherer your thoughts and mentally distance yourself. This gives your system time to adjust so you can take conscious control of your situation. This allows you to choose how to respond instead of a knee-jerk reaction you may later regret.
Make Your Self-Talk Positive. It’s easy to berate yourself. “I’m a stupid idiot,” is self-talk that may come to your mind, but it isn’t helpful. Train yourself to be kinder to yourself. When you catch your inner self being negative, pause, rephrase. Be at least as nice to yourself as you would be to your best friend.
Be Curious. When you are curious enough to explore how you’re feeling, you may come to understand what triggers you emotionally. Then you can be ready to deal with a strong reaction or even avoid situations entirely before you become so emotionally charged that you lose control. Your curiosity may also lead you to empathize and connect with others as well as your own inner self.
The key to all these strategies is to stave off a situation in which your emotions get the better of you. It takes practice to pause and shift your consciousness from out-of-control to calm deliberation. You won’t always be perfect, but you can get better. It’s worth the try.
Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: https://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com/comtact
