It should come as no surprise that if you want a good relationship with your partner, it’s helpful to be in tip-top shape yourself. A physically exhausted and emotionally spent person will have trouble devoting the effort required for a healthy relationship. When you cultivate good habits of self-care, you will feel more like interacting with your partner in a positive way.
But really, is it worth it to make changes in your life so you might impact your relationship for the better? Ask yourself: If you could do something to feel closer to your partner, would it be worth making changes in your everyday habits? Making changes can be an arduous experience and it’s often very difficult to make lasting changes. But if you can ultimately have a better connection with your partner, maybe it’s worth the effort.
Think About What You Can Do to Strengthen Your Relationship
If you are too tired to pay proper attention to your partner, maybe you need to establish new sleep habits. It’s healthier for you, and healthier for your relationship. If you are feeling sluggish or unwell, check out your diet. Too much sugar? Too few fruits and vegetables? A good diet can also contribute to a healthier you who is better able to give your partner the attention she deserves.
You can also make improvements in tandem with your partner. For some people, it’s just a matter of carving out more time to be with your partner. For others, it’s devising a shared experience that will enhance your relationship, like exploring new restaurants or visiting a place you’ve both been longing to see. For others, it’s just making that habitual change, like a walk after dinner every night. A small change like that can have a big impact on your relationship and your life. And the bonus of taking a walk together is that exercise is also good for you both, while providing together time, too.
Make Your Goals Specific
It may seem too much like work to set measurable goals and be accountable. After all, a relationship should be organic and not so formal, right? But what if a few mutually agreed upon goals would make your relationship more intimate, more loving? You don’t have to be too rigid in your goal-setting but do talk about concrete ways to achieve your goals and do your best to stick to your efforts.
Make Your Goals Achievable
If you want to lose weight, for example, try aiming for, say, losing five pounds within a certain time period. If you try to lose 50 pounds without breaking it up into smaller increments, it’s easier to lose heart. Take is slow and easy with your doctor’s guidance. If you both need to get in shape, plan a program that you can do together—exercise or diet or both. Cheer each other on. Achieving goals together is bound to bring you closer.
Make Your Goals Trackable
For example, if you decide as a couple that you both need to be on social media less and be outside in nature more, quantify it. How many hours or days will you be off social media and how often do you want to be in nature? Keep track so you can feel good about achieving your goal together. When your goal is fuzzy, there is less satisfaction even if you exceed your goal in actuality. You’ll want both of you to feel proud when you meet your intentions. And that can’t help but deepen your relationship.
Make Your Goals Rewardable
The fun part of working toward a goal and achieving it together is you get to celebrate together. Never underestimate the power of fun. It’s good for the soul and it’s good for your relationship.
Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: https://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com/comtact
