Lonely? You’re Not Alone.

Loneliness is a tricky thing to combat. Loneliness seems to beget loneliness. When you feel isolated you crawl into your shell and become more so. You feel separated from other human beings. You may have physical symptoms too, like an ache or a heaviness in your chest. It’s not a good feeling.

Maybe the trick is not to combat it. Maybe the trick is to take it in and fully own it. Pay attention to how you feel. Be aware of your body. Let yourself be sad and acknowledge the sorrow. Give yourself permission to cry. It’s important to be aware of your feelings before you can take steps to heal.

Sometimes people try to distract themselves from their loneliness with alcohol or the Internet or busyness. Distraction devices are limitless—you can stave off your feelings by plunging into chores or playing video games or whatever keeps you occupied.

Some people try to explain their loneliness by cataloguing all their faults. Of course they are unworthy of others. Who would want to be with them when they are so flaw-ridden and undesirable? This kind of dangerous thinking offers them an explanation, but it’s a false one.

Loneliness is part of the human condition.

You may be lonely, but you’re not alone. At one time or another, most people have felt lonely. And if you encountered a lonely person, you would show compassion to him. You would not blame him for his condition. You would give him support.

So when you’re feeling lonely, try to feel the same compassion for yourself. Understand that you may be feeling this way for a reason. Perhaps your connections with friends and family have frayed a bit. Perhaps your relationships are not as close as you would wish. Loneliness is a kind of emotional pain that signals—like a physical pain—that something in your body needs attention. In this case, that something is your connection with other human beings.

So accept it. Own it. Understand that feeling lonely is sad, and you deserve better. Be at least as compassionate with yourself as you would be with others. Then you will be open to working on easing the pain of loneliness. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to experience connectedness with others. It takes courage to reach out, but you can do it. Next week I’ll talk about how.

Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional.  If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch.  You can reach her here: https://nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact-us.

 

If you found this post helpful, you might also enjoy exploring some of our other articles that dive deeper into the topics of relationships, communication, and emotional wellness. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your current connection, better understand co-dependency, or prepare for a healthy marriage, these related posts offer valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Take a look—you may find just what you need.

Related Posts

Are You in Love with a Narcissist?

The trouble with the term “narcissist” is that it is used liberally, when a very small percentage of the population is actually diagnosed with Narcissist Personality Disorder. But many people exhibit some upsetting traits that are often associated with narcissism. One of those traits is a low emotional intelligence quotient, or EQ. People with low EQs have trouble managing their own emotions and trouble understanding others’ emotions. It can be

Read More »

Therapy Isn’t Something to Be Ashamed Of

As a therapist, as well as someone who goes to therapy, I can speak firsthand about the importance of attending therapy. Think of it this way: you are driving your car and suddenly you hear a funny noise. At first, you ignore it and hope it goes away. But over time, the noise starts to get worse and soon you realize you need to repair whatever’s wrong. Stigma of therapy

Read More »

The Key to Love

Multiple studies have been conducted exploring the idea that two people can develop a close relationship by sharing their most intimate thoughts. In one famous study the two people involved began as strangers, but soon, through a series of increasingly more probing questions, they became close. The questions began innocuously enough, as a getting-to-know-you exercise. They progressed to more personal issues that left each person feeling vulnerable. When the self-disclosure

Read More »
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SERVICES

Find The Counseling Service That Is Right For You

At Nancy’s Counseling Corner, we’re here to support every stage of your relationship journey. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment through premarital counseling, or working through the emotions of separation and divorce, our services are designed with care, compassion, and expertise. We specialize in Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Divorce Counseling, Co-dependency Counseling—and so much more. No matter where you are, healing and growth are possible. Let’s take that next step—together.

Marriage & Couples Counseling

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires hard work, love, care, and understanding the needs of other people.

Relationship Counseling

Can help you find–and keep–the love of your life. Relationships are challenging and require an extensive amount of patience.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is an emotional and strenuous thought for those seeking to solve marital problems.

Depression Counseling

Depression is a mental disorder characterized by at least 10-14 days of noticeable or recognizable low mood.

Co-dependency

“Codependency” is a term we hear thrown around a lot these days, though many of us aren’t sure exactly what it means.

Premarital Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Anxiety Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Meditation

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Hypnosis

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.