Identifying Abuse in a Relationship

By Nancy Travers

Anyone can become a victim of domestic abuse. It could be your neighbor, your child’s teacher, the teller at the bank, or the salesperson who just sold you mascara at the fine department store. Many women and men think that if they’re in a middle or upper income bracket they’re above abuse or that it wouldn’t happen to them. Not so. Abuse is prevalent at all income levels and all different backgrounds. This abuse can include emotional, sexual, psychological attacks with the intent of maintaining control and dominance. According to the Avon Foundation, which helps prevent domestic abuse, abuse is the leading cause of injury to women, even more than car accidents, rapes or muggings combined.

Abuse can start gradually and build to a crescendo, making the victim feel that she can’t survive without the abuser. As the abuse heightens so can the violence, and so can the fear. The abuser manipulates his victim into believing that she’s worthless and friendless, so that he can assert total control. Many times, the abuser will apologize and then continue the violence when the victim’s guard is down.

Here are five warning signs of abuse that could be a strong red flag in your relationship The abuser…

 

  1. calls or texts several times a day and wants an immediate response. The abuser also checks her car mileage and eavesdrops on her phone calls and web use. In addition, the abuser becomes extremely jealous if the victim is spending time with someone else.
  2. makes the victim feel guilty she’s not spending enough time with him and soon isolates her from her friends and family. He also prevents her from doing activities she used to enjoy. Many times the abuser will get serious too quickly and is overly generous in a way that may make someone uncomfortable.
  3. controls all of the victim’s finances and will even prevent her from making purchases to feed her family or pay her bills. He may even prevent her from applying for jobs or sabotage her work transportation.
  4. verbally abuses his victim via name-calling, constant criticism, public humiliation, and by even giving her the silent treatment when she wants to talk.
  5. exhibits a violent temper and has made threats against the victim, her family or even himself. He also forces his victim to have sex against her will.

 

We all have it within our power to stop abuse. If we see a friend who’s suffering, we need to ask questions and make sure she gets help, information and resources. If we see ourselves on this page, we need to get help and find ways to be as safe as possible from the abuser, which includes protecting our passwords and carefully using our cell phones. Identifying abuse is one way of breaking the cycle of violence in families and in our communities, and it’s also necessary

I’ve listed a few resources to help in the fight against domestic abuse:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline
    1-800-799-SAFE       (7233)
    www.ndvh.org
  • The National Center for Victims of Crime
    1-800-FYI-CALL
    www.ncvc.org
  • Family Violence Prevention Fund
    1-303-839-1852
    www.ncadv.org


    Nancy Travers is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She specializes in all types of relationships; We all want them, We all need them; How to get em and Keep them. Nancy’s office is located at 1600 Dove Street, Suite 260, Newport Beach, CA 92660.

    For more information or to make an appointment, call 949-510- 9423 or contact us.
    copyright a division of Counseling Corner, Inc.

 

If you found this post helpful, you might also enjoy exploring some of our other articles that dive deeper into the topics of relationships, communication, and emotional wellness. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your current connection, better understand co-dependency, or prepare for a healthy marriage, these related posts offer valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Take a look—you may find just what you need.

Related Posts

Uncategorized
Nancy Travers

The Trifecta of Tortured Relationships: Why You Feel So Alone Together

The Trifecta of Tortured Relationships: Why You Feel So Alone Together When couples first come together, it feels like magic. You feel emotionally safe. Supported. Loved. Your partner is the one person you can count on in times of trouble and triumph—a true safe harbor. But over time, that connection can erode. You may feel alone even when you’re together. You might start to wonder: When trust breaks down, emotional

Read More »

Choose Your Partner

A friend told me that every time her husband touches her arm with affection, which is every morning as they wake up, she is stunned that he loves her. No matter what stupid stuff she did the day before, no matter how permanently flawed her personality, he demonstrates that he loves her. Unconditionally. He cherishes her and he lets her know it, even though he merely touches her arm. It’s

Read More »

What and How ADHD Affects Relationships

What ADHD Is in a Relationship Context ADHD isn’t just about distractibility or hyperactivity. It’s a neurological difference that affects: These issues don’t just show up at work or school — they show up at home, in arguments, in missed cues, and in emotional connections. 💥 How ADHD Affects Relationships 1. Forgetfulness & Disorganization 2. Inattention & Distractibility 3. Impulsivity 4. Hyperfocus (Ironically!) 5. Emotional Dysregulation 6. Uneven Responsibility ❤️

Read More »
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SERVICES

Find The Counseling Service That Is Right For You

At Nancy’s Counseling Corner, we’re here to support every stage of your relationship journey. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment through premarital counseling, or working through the emotions of separation and divorce, our services are designed with care, compassion, and expertise. We specialize in Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Divorce Counseling, Co-dependency Counseling—and so much more. No matter where you are, healing and growth are possible. Let’s take that next step—together.

Marriage & Couples Counseling

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires hard work, love, care, and understanding the needs of other people.

Relationship Counseling

Can help you find–and keep–the love of your life. Relationships are challenging and require an extensive amount of patience.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is an emotional and strenuous thought for those seeking to solve marital problems.

Depression Counseling

Depression is a mental disorder characterized by at least 10-14 days of noticeable or recognizable low mood.

Co-dependency

“Codependency” is a term we hear thrown around a lot these days, though many of us aren’t sure exactly what it means.

Premarital Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Anxiety Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Meditation

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Hypnosis

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.