What is the Difference Between Stonewalling vs Gaslighting?

Stonewalling and gaslighting are both harmful behaviors often seen in interpersonal conflicts, but they are different in their methods and impacts:

Stonewalling:

• Definition: Stonewalling occurs when a person refuses to engage in communication or dialogue. They may become silent, refuse to respond, or leave the conversation entirely.
• Purpose: The purpose of stonewalling is often to avoid conflict, control the situation, or punish the other person by withdrawing emotionally.
• Effects: Stonewalling can create feelings of frustration, helplessness, and abandonment in the person being stonewalled. It can erode trust and prevent resolution of issues.
• Example: During an argument, one partner suddenly stops talking, turns away, and ignores the other person, refusing to discuss the issue further.

Gaslighting:

• Definition: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person tries to make someone else doubt their own perceptions, memories, or sanity.
• Purpose: The purpose of gaslighting is to gain power and control over the other person by undermining their confidence and sense of reality.
• Effects: Gaslighting can lead to confusion, anxiety, and a loss of self-trust in the person being gaslighted. Over time, it can have severe psychological effects, including feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.
• Example: A person might tell their partner that they are “too sensitive” or “imagining things” when the partner raises concerns about hurtful behavior, making them question their own feelings and perceptions.

Key Differences:

• Communication: Stonewalling involves a lack of communication, while gaslighting involves manipulative communication.
• Intent: Stonewalling is about avoiding or shutting down, whereas gaslighting is about actively manipulating and controlling.
• Impact: Stonewalling leads to emotional distance and unresolved issues, while gaslighting causes self-doubt and emotional confusion.