When Sleep Eludes You

Last week we talked about housekeeping tips to get you to sweet slumber every night. If you followed them, you\’ve made your room dark and quiet, you\’ve checked your mattress, you\’ve banned the TV from your bedroom, watched your intake of caffeine and alcohol, regulated your routine—everything. And there you are, at 4 a.m., wide awake.

What can you do when you\’ve followed the rules and you still can\’t sleep?

Experts suggest you get up and out of bed if you\’ve been unable to sleep for a 15 – 20 minute stretch. That\’s so your body won\’t get used to the idea of lying in bed awake. And the longer you lie in bed the more anxious you get. You\’ve gotta get up in a few hours and the clock is ticking. You need to get your shut-eye right away! The more you realize you need your sleep, the more anxious you become. And that\’s a stress you don\’t need when you\’re trying to relax.

So get up and do something soothing. Take a warm bubble bath. Read a book. Play some music—Brahms, not Pink. Whatever you do, do it away from your bed. Go back only when you\’re feeling drowsy.

You might also try some relaxation techniques. Relax every muscle one at a time, starting with your toes. Move up your body, mindful of your breathing, as you picture your muscles relaxing in your feet, calves, thighs, stomach, chest, shoulders, neck. Feel the tension leave your body.

Or picture a calm, pleasant place where you\’ve felt peaceful and relaxed. A beach, maybe. Hear the water gently lapping against the sand. Smell the salt in the air. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. Count the waves as they roll toward the shore. Or count sheep. That will help you get your mind off the fact that you can\’t sleep.

The key is to quiet your mind. Try to put the things that worry you away for awhile. There is nothing you can do to solve your problems at the moment. It may help to write down what\’s worrying you so you can get it off your mind and onto paper. Make a list of things you can do that might solve your problems instead of letting them loop continuously through your mind.

If you\’ve taken yoga classes, you know how to pay attention to your breath. Be fully conscious as you breathe in and exhale. Slow your body down. Practice meditation. It\’s time for Savasana, just like you do in yoga class. Except you fall asleep and stay asleep.

Sweet dreams.

Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional.  If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch.  You can reach her here: https://nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact-us.

 

 

If you found this post helpful, you might also enjoy exploring some of our other articles that dive deeper into the topics of relationships, communication, and emotional wellness. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your current connection, better understand co-dependency, or prepare for a healthy marriage, these related posts offer valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Take a look—you may find just what you need.

Related Posts

How Women Are Silently Quitting Their Marriages

In many relationships, disconnection doesn’t begin with a dramatic argument or a sudden breakup. Instead, it often starts quietly. More and more marriage counselors are seeing a pattern where women emotionally withdraw from their marriages long before separation or divorce is discussed. This experience is sometimes described as “silently quitting” a marriage, where effort, emotional investment, and hope slowly fade without outward conflict. What “Silently Quitting” a Marriage Looks Like

Read More »

Resolve to Forgive Yourself in 2026

We all know that forgiveness is good for the soul. It frees us from the bitterness and anger that accompany us throughout our days and dog us with sleepless nights. We all know there are often times when it’s hard to forgive. That’s when we need to remember that forgiveness is actually a gift to ourselves, and the best gift of all is being able to forgive the most difficult

Read More »

New Year Resolutions and Your Relationships

As a new year begins, many people set resolutions focused on self-improvement—better habits, clearer goals, or renewed motivation. When viewed through a relational lens, resolutions can also become powerful opportunities to shift long-standing patterns in our relationships. Rather than striving to change others or perfect ourselves, relational resolutions invite us to practice greater awareness, honesty, and self-respect in how we connect. For those impacted by shame or codependency, New Year

Read More »
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SERVICES

Find The Counseling Service That Is Right For You

At Nancy’s Counseling Corner, we’re here to support every stage of your relationship journey. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment through premarital counseling, or working through the emotions of separation and divorce, our services are designed with care, compassion, and expertise. We specialize in Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Divorce Counseling, Co-dependency Counseling—and so much more. No matter where you are, healing and growth are possible. Let’s take that next step—together.

Marriage & Couples Counseling

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires hard work, love, care, and understanding the needs of other people.

Relationship Counseling

Can help you find–and keep–the love of your life. Relationships are challenging and require an extensive amount of patience.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is an emotional and strenuous thought for those seeking to solve marital problems.

Depression Counseling

Depression is a mental disorder characterized by at least 10-14 days of noticeable or recognizable low mood.

Co-dependency

“Codependency” is a term we hear thrown around a lot these days, though many of us aren’t sure exactly what it means.

Premarital Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Anxiety Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Meditation

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Hypnosis

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.