Oh, You Got to Have Friends…

…the feeling’s oh so strong. When Bette Midler belts out this song, you know how critical friendship is for survival in this world. Friends have an enormous influence on your life and can make the difference between health and happiness or loneliness and isolation. Studies show close friends enhance your mood and how well you function—they are important to your emotional and physical health. If you have a good network of friends you can literally add years to your life.

Good friends are open and honest with you, and you feel you can be the same with them. You tolerate each other’s weaknesses and enjoy each other’s strengths. Good friends are there for you during troubled times, and mourn your losses. They also share in your joys and genuinely celebrate your successes. You do the same for them.

Oh, You Got To Have Friends… Nancy'S Counseling Corner

So how do you cultivate good friends? Even if you’re shy, you can find connections with people. You don’t have to be outgoing. But you do have to make an effort. Here are some ideas:

Demonstrate Your Interest. It’s not about you. Even if you will ultimately benefit by another’s friendship, you must first show an interest in the other person. What are their thoughts, feelings, likes and dislikes? Ask them questions, try to understand their opinions, get to know their experiences. Showing your interest in other people is far more compelling to them than when you try to get them to be interested in you. Once you learn about another person, you may not feel a connection. It may take awhile to find someone your simpatico with. But the only way to find out is to be genuinely curious. If you aren’t genuine, people will know.

Be in the Moment. Be there and available with your friend. That means your online friends are put away for the moment. If you are constantly on your phone in the presence of your friend, you signal that you phone is more important. Actions speak louder than words. So turn off your devices, pay attention to your friend, and practice really listening. Try to remember their stories, their preferences, their activities. See if you can connect with them on some level.

Share Intimate Thoughts. We all know people who over share, or share too early in a relationship. You have to gauge when this is appropriate. And how much is appropriate. You don’t want to be guilty of TMI (Too Much Information). But the only way to develop a true and deep friendship is to get to know your friend’s values, struggles, and goals in life. This is a two-way street, so you must share yours, too. True and lasting friends often share many goals and values, and yet, you can still be great friends and disagree on fundamental issues. Let your heart be your guide.

Be the Friend You’d Like to Have. You want a trustworthy, forgiving, positive friend, right? So be that kind of friend yourself. Be trustworthy—never repeat a confidence. Be forgiving—nobody’s perfect and flaws make life more interesting anyway. Be a positive influence—that doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time, but don’t be a downer. Be a good listener. Be easy about your expectations and let your friendship evolve naturally. Be supportive and be there for your friend when he needs you.

When you have good friends, you’re bound to have a rich and full life.

 

Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: https://nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact

 

 

If you found this post helpful, you might also enjoy exploring some of our other articles that dive deeper into the topics of relationships, communication, and emotional wellness. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your current connection, better understand co-dependency, or prepare for a healthy marriage, these related posts offer valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Take a look—you may find just what you need.

Related Posts

Is She/He Right for You?

In the rush of a new relationship, you stay up all night talking. You can’t stop thinking about him. And every minute you’re away from him seems to drag in slow motion. You’re in the first stage of love, and your hormones are racing. You can’t think straight. Because you are human, there’s no getting around your physical reaction. You are designed to bond, and in so doing, your body

Read More »

Gaslighting vs Respect

That’s a really important contrast to look at — gaslighting vs. respect in relationships — because they sit on totally opposite ends of the emotional health spectrum. 🔥 Gaslighting (Disrespect in Disguise) Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where one person makes the other doubt their reality, memory, or feelings. It often looks like: “That never happened; you’re just being dramatic.” “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re overreacting.” Twisting facts to

Read More »

Where Is Your Soulmate?

Remember that great line from the movie, Jerry McGuire? The title character tells his girl, “You complete me”. Such a wonderful, romantic scene. And a wonderful, romantic notion: That your soul is only half there, and you travel the world until you meet the one person who completes the other half of you. Your soulmate. But that notion overlooks the truth. It takes time and energy to forge a healthy,

Read More »
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SERVICES

Find The Counseling Service That Is Right For You

At Nancy’s Counseling Corner, we’re here to support every stage of your relationship journey. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment through premarital counseling, or working through the emotions of separation and divorce, our services are designed with care, compassion, and expertise. We specialize in Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Divorce Counseling, Co-dependency Counseling—and so much more. No matter where you are, healing and growth are possible. Let’s take that next step—together.

Marriage & Couples Counseling

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires hard work, love, care, and understanding the needs of other people.

Relationship Counseling

Can help you find–and keep–the love of your life. Relationships are challenging and require an extensive amount of patience.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is an emotional and strenuous thought for those seeking to solve marital problems.

Depression Counseling

Depression is a mental disorder characterized by at least 10-14 days of noticeable or recognizable low mood.

Co-dependency

“Codependency” is a term we hear thrown around a lot these days, though many of us aren’t sure exactly what it means.

Premarital Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Anxiety Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Meditation

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Hypnosis

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.