Make Your Talk Therapy an Adventure

There are always those who think you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps and snap out of it, whether “it” is anxiety, depression, or any kind of emotional distress. Many think these issues can be overcome with enough willpower, which is a concept that lays the fault squarely on you if you are the sufferer, and only exacerbates your suffering.

 

Others prescribe self-care, which is always a good idea, but it may not be enough to overcome what’s bothering you. You can learn to meditate, take a walk, do yoga. And those are great things to do. But they don’t take the place of talk therapy.

Marriage Counseling Couples, Relationships

Talk Therapy, Not Chats with Friends

 

Common wisdom is that if you feel troubled, talking it out will help. And if you have a friend with whom you feel safe, this may be a great idea. But no matter how close your friend, if he is not a trained professional, you may come away from your chat unsatisfied. Here’s why:

  • If you’re truly distressed, and you bring it up over lunch, say, you’re really on a timetable, with interruptions from your server. You don’t have time to go into any particular thought in depth and you have distractions that may prevent you from getting to the heart of your issue. Even if you’re not in a restaurant, sometimes friends have a tendency to talk past one another.
  • A good empathic friend will be eager to comfort you, probably before you have a chance to voice your concerns in full. To show solidarity, an empathic friend may tell you of an experience she feels is comparable to yours, which is nice, but probably doesn’t help you solve your problem.
  • Or a friend can join you in your misery, helping you ruminate endlessly about some misfortune you’ve encountered. This may put you into a downward spiral of distress, with your friend aiding and abetting you on the way, giving you ideas you’ve never thought of as to why you’re justified in your distress. You wallow together, which may bond your friendship, but not help you otherwise.

 

Talk Therapy as a Journey to Discovery

 

Look for a good therapist or a good friend with whom you are simpatico, and with whom you can explore into deep levels. That is, someone with whom you can feel safe to penetrate deep below the surface. Someone who is in tune with you. This may take a while to find, but it is worth pursuing. You want to remain open to discovering new truths about yourself and the ideal person to talk to will help you on your way.

  • The key is to get to the core of your fears and hopes and needs, and it is usually an emotional journey. A therapist can guide you to explore into uncharted territory that you may be reluctant to go to on your own. Further, she can keep you from getting sidetracked and gently get you back to where you need to go.
  • Once you’ve done the hard work of exploring, you need to identify what you’re feeling. When you put words to your inner experience, your experience becomes something concrete. And that helps you to understand your situation and give you direction. It gives you language to express your feelings and that, in itself, can free you from distress. Finding your emotional reality can calm you.

 

The right friend or therapist can help you risk this adventure that ultimately brings you peace.

 

 

 

Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: https://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com/comtact

 

 

If you found this post helpful, you might also enjoy exploring some of our other articles that dive deeper into the topics of relationships, communication, and emotional wellness. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your current connection, better understand co-dependency, or prepare for a healthy marriage, these related posts offer valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Take a look—you may find just what you need.

Related Posts

The Key to Love

Multiple studies have been conducted exploring the idea that two people can develop a close relationship by sharing their most intimate thoughts. In one famous study the two people involved began as strangers, but soon, through a series of increasingly more probing questions, they became close. The questions began innocuously enough, as a getting-to-know-you exercise. They progressed to more personal issues that left each person feeling vulnerable. When the self-disclosure

Read More »

Unseen Trauma, Shame, Codependency

The trauma of being unseen often lies at the root of both shame and codependency, quietly shaping how we relate to ourselves and others throughout our lives. This unseen wound—often rooted in early relational experiences—leaves an enduring imprint on our emotional landscape, one that can quietly dictate our behavior, self-worth, and capacity for connection well into adulthood. When a person’s emotional reality is consistently ignored, dismissed, or invalidated—especially during the

Read More »

Sex, Sex, and More Sex

Sex is often the cornerstone of a good relationship. Sure, it’s possible to have a wonderful relationship without it, but sex can really enhance and strengthen your journey as a couple. In fact, research tells us that couples who are committed long-term, and who can communicate with each other about their sex life, have better sex and have it more often than those who don’t talk about it. They feel

Read More »
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SERVICES

Find The Counseling Service That Is Right For You

At Nancy’s Counseling Corner, we’re here to support every stage of your relationship journey. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment through premarital counseling, or working through the emotions of separation and divorce, our services are designed with care, compassion, and expertise. We specialize in Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Divorce Counseling, Co-dependency Counseling—and so much more. No matter where you are, healing and growth are possible. Let’s take that next step—together.

Marriage & Couples Counseling

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires hard work, love, care, and understanding the needs of other people.

Relationship Counseling

Can help you find–and keep–the love of your life. Relationships are challenging and require an extensive amount of patience.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is an emotional and strenuous thought for those seeking to solve marital problems.

Depression Counseling

Depression is a mental disorder characterized by at least 10-14 days of noticeable or recognizable low mood.

Co-dependency

“Codependency” is a term we hear thrown around a lot these days, though many of us aren’t sure exactly what it means.

Premarital Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Anxiety Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Meditation

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Hypnosis

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.