Is Cheating on Facebook Still Cheating?

by Nancy Travers,LCSW

It used to be that cheating on your spouse meant engaging in physical activity with another person. But now cheating can be defined by engaging in emotionally-charged wall posts and instant messages with old flames or new interests via Facebook. These cyber endeavors can take you away from your spouse emotionally and they are just as dangerous to a marriage as a physical affair.

Does Facebook enable cheaters?

Yes, Facebook does give a potential cheater the opportunity to look up old boyfriends and girlfriends with the search tool. Friending people is so easy, low risk and doesn?t require a long message or a reason why (of course, you can add a personal message on your friend request, but most people don?t). Facebook also promotes intimacy, casual attitudes and flirtation. When the potential cheater and the ex are connected, they?ll probably peep at each other?s profile pages and photos, and then start chatting based on what they have learned about their new friend. At this point, they are doing what social networking is supposed to do: To facilitate connections with people who have common interests who want to create community.

However, the potential cheaters may take the networking and the sharing a little too far with sexually-charged private messages and chats. The potential cheater may now start feeling guilty when his or her spouse crosses into her computer space. When the spouse questions how much time she is spending online, she may tell him that she?s merely ?catching up? with old friends.

Who is vulnerable to Facebook cheating?

People who are in or who have

  • marriages where communication is not at the forefront and they feel they are being taken for granted
  • spouses who are bored at work or with each other
  • stressful jobs so Facebook seems like a good stress reliever
  • unrequited love from their youth

One of the features of Facebook that makes it so attractive for potential cheaters is that you can put your best foot forward and the other party never has to see you in your old socks and ratty bathrobe. They?ll only see the ?you? you want them to see and this is very attractive.

Not everyone out there is ready to cheat on their spouse or long-time partner, but Facebook does make it easier to do so and it does facilitate online affairs. By knowing this, we should be more wary about doing the appropriate thing and respecting our partners. If we feel that we are stepping out of line and telling an old friend on Facebook more about our life and problems than we would our spouse, we should catch ourselves early. If we don?t, the consequence is communication breakdowns, distance, distrust and perhaps divorce.


Nancy Travers is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She specializes in all types of relationships; We all want them, We all need them; How to get em and Keep them. Nancy’s office is located at 1600 Dove Street, Suite 260, Newport Beach, CA 92660.

For more information or to make an appointment, call 949-510- 9423 or contact us.
copyright a division of Counseling Corner, Inc.
As seen in The Blade magazine June 2005.

 

If you found this post helpful, you might also enjoy exploring some of our other articles that dive deeper into the topics of relationships, communication, and emotional wellness. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your current connection, better understand co-dependency, or prepare for a healthy marriage, these related posts offer valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Take a look—you may find just what you need.

Related Posts

Choose Your Partner

A friend told me that every time her husband touches her arm with affection, which is every morning as they wake up, she is stunned that he loves her. No matter what stupid stuff she did the day before, no matter how permanently flawed her personality, he demonstrates that he loves her. Unconditionally. He cherishes her and he lets her know it, even though he merely touches her arm. It’s

Read More »

What and How ADHD Affects Relationships

What ADHD Is in a Relationship Context ADHD isn’t just about distractibility or hyperactivity. It’s a neurological difference that affects: These issues don’t just show up at work or school — they show up at home, in arguments, in missed cues, and in emotional connections. 💥 How ADHD Affects Relationships 1. Forgetfulness & Disorganization 2. Inattention & Distractibility 3. Impulsivity 4. Hyperfocus (Ironically!) 5. Emotional Dysregulation 6. Uneven Responsibility ❤️

Read More »

Rumination vs Reflection In Relationships

Ah, going even deeper — I love it.When it comes to relationships, the difference between rumination and reflection becomes even more personal and powerful. Here’s the breakdown: 💔 Rumination in Relationships (Emotional Looping) Result:→ Builds emotional walls.→ Increases insecurity, distance, and mistrust.→ Prevents healing or meaningful change. ❤️ Reflection in Relationships (Healing and Growing) Result:→ Builds emotional insight and compassion.→ Deepens connection and understanding.→ Leads to healthier behaviors and growth.

Read More »
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SERVICES

Find The Counseling Service That Is Right For You

At Nancy’s Counseling Corner, we’re here to support every stage of your relationship journey. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment through premarital counseling, or working through the emotions of separation and divorce, our services are designed with care, compassion, and expertise. We specialize in Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Divorce Counseling, Co-dependency Counseling—and so much more. No matter where you are, healing and growth are possible. Let’s take that next step—together.

Marriage & Couples Counseling

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires hard work, love, care, and understanding the needs of other people.

Relationship Counseling

Can help you find–and keep–the love of your life. Relationships are challenging and require an extensive amount of patience.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is an emotional and strenuous thought for those seeking to solve marital problems.

Depression Counseling

Depression is a mental disorder characterized by at least 10-14 days of noticeable or recognizable low mood.

Co-dependency

“Codependency” is a term we hear thrown around a lot these days, though many of us aren’t sure exactly what it means.

Premarital Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Anxiety Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Meditation

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Hypnosis

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.