Here are some things you should avoid when you go a on a first date, or even a second or a third – but these tips are designed with light heartedness in mind. If you need help managing your dating life,relationship counseling in Orange County may be able to help you today.
So you may think that going on a date is an easy, fun-filled thing, and most of the time, this assumption is completely true – except when it’s not. There is a finesse to dating, and when that delicate balance is upset, everything can just go down from there and someone you may have compatible with twenty minutes ago no longer thinks you’re a potential for them. This doesn’t have to happen if you’re aware of the things that could ruin a date in ten seconds flat.
Now, this doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, try new things, wear whatever you want (and smell whatever you want). But a little awareness goes a long way.
Please don’t try all of the new things. There are some things we do every day that are just “part of us,†from grooming habits all the way to the way we walk or the kind of shoes we wear. We even have established routines for the things we do when we go out with friends or dress up to look nice when we go to a special event. Changing these routines too much may prove to be disastrous – because what happens if one of those new things doesn’t exactly work, and you wind up with shoes that make you fall every few steps or nails that look like a cat painted them?
A new scent, or a new eyeliner may look fabulous, but if it doesn’t, it’s easy to fix. Make sure if you do choose to try new things, you try them on a limited basis. You’re perfect without the newness.
Don’t lie about who you are. Dropping lies to make yourself look good is incredibly counterproductive to finding someone who will love you and like you for what you are. Just because you haven’t visited the moon or met Sean Connery doesn’t mean you aren’t an interesting, fabulous person. If you think you’re not exciting enough, think about the most interesting thing you’ve ever done. Maybe you’ve fallen off a horse and survived it, or you’ve found a passion for designing furniture. It may not seem incredibly interesting to you, but to someone who isn’t you and has never experienced what you have. Best of all, it’s completely honest, so you don’t have to invent lies later on in the relationship (if it gets that far – you never know) to cover up the ones you initially told.
The benefit that is less regularly considered is the one that you get when you find out that your date does something you were going to lie about, and would have known nothing about if you had actually said it.
Don’t curse up a storm. Even if your potential mate has a dirty mouth, you most certainly shouldn’t. You want to be the best and look your best on a date and show off the intelligence that you have, not make yourself look like you are uneducated or uncivilized, and cursing reflects that. Even substituting words for less vulgar versions isn’t the greatest choice – the encourage actual conversation, speak with your manners, and think before you talk so you can filter exactly what you say.
Drinking is okay, but don’t overdo it. We all handle stress differently, which means, ultimately, that some of us choose to drown our anxiety away. While one or two drinks is completely appropriate, especially if your date is offering to pay, going overboard can be a complete mistake. Not only does drinking impair your judgment, it can also take away from your otherwise shining personality – most people say many inappropriate things when they’re drunk, even when they would never say them otherwise. You should be in your best form so you can truly get to know your date.
And finally, have fun! Be yourself, and if you don’t jive with your date, don’t worry about it – have fun anyway. Just because someone doesn’t romantically click with you doesn’t mean that they can’t click with you on a friendly basis, and often the worst dates make the best friends, so be yourself, have fun, and remember that you’re not just there to find a romance – you’re there to form a relationship, and practice getting better and more comfortable on dates.
Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: https://nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact-us.
