Can You Predict Divorce?

Can You Predict Divorce?

No one thinks they’ll get divorced when they’re engaged to be married. They’re excited. They’re in love. They’re in lust. But 40 to 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce and the divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher. So there are a lot of people who are surprised to find themselves part of that unhappy statistic.

How does it happen? Sometimes break-ups are attributed to something obvious. He slept with a neighbor. She is a workaholic. He is an alcoholic. But these issues, while surely deal breakers, are often symptomatic behaviors of a deeper problem in the marriage. In fact, some behaviors are fairly reliable indicators that your marriage is headed for trouble.

Can You Predict Divorce? Nancy'S Counseling Corner
Newlyweds Toasting With Champagne In Limo — Image By © Fabio Cardoso/Corbis
  • 1.  This is one of the biggest indicators of the end of a relationship. After all, if your partner treats you with contempt, he treats you like you are beneath his consideration. Worse, he scorns you, disdains you, disrespects you. You are not worthy to be in his presence, and you won’t be for long if this is how he feels.
  • 2.  Ignore your partner and he’ll go away. Blow him off, don’t listen to him, don’t care about what he says or what he feels. Pretty soon, he’ll get the message that you truly don’t care about him. If you want to show him that you do care, listen with your whole heart and mind when he’s trying to communicate with you. Acknowledge how he’s feeling. Make it a priority to spend time with him and be fully engaged with him.
  • 3.  Yes, at first you make physical connection constantly, often at an intensity that is impossible to sustain over the long term. And that’s the trouble. Busy work schedules and kids and all sorts of responsibilities require immediate attention, and showing affection to your partner takes a back seat. So make a date to have sex and put it on the calendar if that helps. And don’t forget, affection can take the form of a backrub or a gentle touch as you pass by each other in the hallway. Just don’t take the physical part of your relationship for granted.
  • 4.  Everyone says it because it’s true—communication is critical to a good marriage. That means you have to find the courage to communicate negative feelings even when you hate conflict. If you shut down and refuse to work things out with your partner, you will only leave him frustrated and alone. And when you do not express your negative feelings, you bottle up resentment. That is not good for the health of your marriage, but neither is constant criticism. Try to find a balance of communication that is much more positive that negative. And keep yourself open to discussing your problems.

If you find any of the above problems in your marriage, take note. If you and your partner are still committed to each other, you can work on changing to healthier behaviors. A good counselor or therapist can help.

Nancy Travers is an Orange County Psychotherapist. If you need safe, effective therapy services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: https://nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact-us.

 

 

If you found this post helpful, you might also enjoy exploring some of our other articles that dive deeper into the topics of relationships, communication, and emotional wellness. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your current connection, better understand co-dependency, or prepare for a healthy marriage, these related posts offer valuable insights and tools to support your journey. Take a look—you may find just what you need.

Related Posts

Choose Your Partner

A friend told me that every time her husband touches her arm with affection, which is every morning as they wake up, she is stunned that he loves her. No matter what stupid stuff she did the day before, no matter how permanently flawed her personality, he demonstrates that he loves her. Unconditionally. He cherishes her and he lets her know it, even though he merely touches her arm. It’s

Read More »

What and How ADHD Affects Relationships

What ADHD Is in a Relationship Context ADHD isn’t just about distractibility or hyperactivity. It’s a neurological difference that affects: These issues don’t just show up at work or school — they show up at home, in arguments, in missed cues, and in emotional connections. 💥 How ADHD Affects Relationships 1. Forgetfulness & Disorganization 2. Inattention & Distractibility 3. Impulsivity 4. Hyperfocus (Ironically!) 5. Emotional Dysregulation 6. Uneven Responsibility ❤️

Read More »

Rumination vs Reflection In Relationships

Ah, going even deeper — I love it.When it comes to relationships, the difference between rumination and reflection becomes even more personal and powerful. Here’s the breakdown: 💔 Rumination in Relationships (Emotional Looping) Result:→ Builds emotional walls.→ Increases insecurity, distance, and mistrust.→ Prevents healing or meaningful change. ❤️ Reflection in Relationships (Healing and Growing) Result:→ Builds emotional insight and compassion.→ Deepens connection and understanding.→ Leads to healthier behaviors and growth.

Read More »
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING SERVICES

Find The Counseling Service That Is Right For You

At Nancy’s Counseling Corner, we’re here to support every stage of your relationship journey. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment through premarital counseling, or working through the emotions of separation and divorce, our services are designed with care, compassion, and expertise. We specialize in Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Divorce Counseling, Co-dependency Counseling—and so much more. No matter where you are, healing and growth are possible. Let’s take that next step—together.

Marriage & Couples Counseling

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires hard work, love, care, and understanding the needs of other people.

Relationship Counseling

Can help you find–and keep–the love of your life. Relationships are challenging and require an extensive amount of patience.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is an emotional and strenuous thought for those seeking to solve marital problems.

Depression Counseling

Depression is a mental disorder characterized by at least 10-14 days of noticeable or recognizable low mood.

Co-dependency

“Codependency” is a term we hear thrown around a lot these days, though many of us aren’t sure exactly what it means.

Premarital Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Anxiety Counseling

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Meditation

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.

Hypnosis

Offers Premarital Counseling to couples in the Orange County area that are considering to get married or are already engaged.