If you have a relationship with someone who is a manipulator, it is not easy to change your situation. Because that manipulator wants power over you—wants to control you and use you for his benefit—he is unlikely to give it up. And how does he achieve that power? He does it by exploiting your weaknesses.
Say, for example, that you have a deep need to be liked. A manipulator will somehow hone right into that and withhold his love unless and until you do what he wants. He uses you to serve his own self-interests. And once you comply, why should he stop using you? So you find yourself in a situation where you are vulnerable to mental, emotional, and perhaps even physical, harm.
But you have the right to a happy, healthy life. You must create that life by dealing with people who manipulate you.
The most direct solution is to avoid this toxic person. This may be difficult if the manipulator is in your family or an important person outside your family, like your boss. You must decide if the relationship is worth the suffering you endure. If not, extricate yourself and do not see this person. Because you cannot change him and you cannot save him from himself. He is the only one who can do that.
When cutting ties to a manipulator is not practical, here are some ways to cope:
Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: https://nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact-us.
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